By now, mostly everyone is aware that death-care has seen significant growth in cremations over the last score of years. It has been projected that traditional funerals will decline even further, thus allowing cremations to continue its upward movement to eventually become the preferred method of handling the death of our loved ones. This writing will explore the reasons why these changes have occurred and the forces that kept cremations suppressed for so long.
In recent history, traditional funeral care was primarily influenced by social norms, religious application and personal choice, and although financial consideration sometimes played a role in the services chosen, it was never the sole factor. While the norms in any society set the pace for social proscriptions and their embracing values, religion played a significant and discerning role in the decisions concerning traditional funerals. After all, funeral services were synonymous with prayers, religious rites, spiritual beliefs, and almost always involved the presence of religious leaders.
Religious beliefs, coupled with cultural identities and the ancestral influences inherent of so many varying nationalities constituted the factors that determined the characteristics of the funeral services, whether held at the funeral home, church, cemetery or at the residence of the family. In spite of these influences, however, the most powerful hidden force to propel the identity of the traditional funeral was almost always the funeral director, the only person who held the trump cards in the game of human disposition.
During the arrangement conference, family members were usually led down the beaten path to accept the latest in funeral merchandise, such as elaborately designed wooden or metal caskets. Emphasis was also placed on the funeral visitation and the assorted memorabilia available, like prayer cards, religious photos, newspaper obituaries, written biographies, and of course, the musical ensemble playing amidst a labyrinth of family portraits and photos in CD format, presented on large monitors throughout the visitation. Aside from these items, additional selections included flower baskets, standing sprays, corsages and a variety of unique and tributary floral arrangements, and of course, Christian crosses, crucifixes, rosary beads, and other religious artifacts like the Star of David.
Visitations included the playing of music, the watching of videos, the showing of family photos and many other specialized presentations that had been planned for, agreed upon and implemented by funeral personnel. Additional on the spur-of-the-moment stories told by family and friends added special touches that brought unity among those present. The cemetery was usually chosen for its geographical location or previous usage by family. The final transportation involved a procession of vehicles that followed the coach and limousine on a slow ride to the cemetery, where everyone gathered at the graveside to observe the casket as it was lowered into the ground or elevated into a mausoleum crypt.
Clear on the other side of the service spectrum was the hush-hush subject of cremation. In the beginning, everyone believed that if cremation had been requested, it was probably attributed to the family’s lack of funds. In those ‘cremation whisper’ days, many funeral directors openly expressed their disapproval of cremations, leaving families with the impression that everything had to be done to bring closure through honor and integrity, implying that only through a proper burial could this be achieved. However, the arrangement conference always took a nosedive at the family’s insistence for cremation. The funeral director knew that the funeral extras that brought dollars to the establishment would be reduced to a mere trickle if cremation was chosen.
What is most unfortunate is that even for many seasoned funeral directors, attitudes about cremations are still the same, even after so many years. If an objective study on the verbal and nonverbal communication of funeral directors during the arrangement conference were at all possible, it would most probably reveal their subjective and negative sentiments about cremations. When compounded with other negative propaganda to perpetuate damning results because of the occasional cremation horrors that have been uncovered, cremations would succumb even further into the pits of negative gossip. In spite of these hurdles, however, cremations continue to rise above the traditional funeral.
Negative attitudes about cremations stem from the funeral directors’ awareness of the limited profits through cremation. Additional negative long-lasting effects generally involve industry mishaps by employees. For example, about five years ago a crematory in Mobile, Georgia took possession of 334 human remains over a period of time and instead of performing their cremations, the bodies were thrown in the woods adjacent to the crematory property and allowed to decompose over time. This was an outrage that showed how one single operator could demonstrate such disdain toward humanity. Familes were horrified and the public was offended at the indecency of these actions. Such concerns are real and are the focal point of many recurring stories that accentuate such horrors.
The consequence of such aversive behavior has deprived thousands upon thousands of families of the best means of promoting healthy, respectful and humane closure through cremation. In addition, family and friends are further deprived of the Witness Cremation, thereby distancing families from a potentially positive experience that is available only at the crematory. The Witnesss Cremation allows family members to pay their respects in the presence of their loved one in order to say goodbye in an honorable manner and allows them to ask questions about the cremation procedure and the assurance that they’ll ultimately get the correct cremated remains, those of their loved one. After this very important exchange at the crematory, family and friends may observe as their loved one is placed inside the cremation chamber. The majority of crematories have the means to provide such an important and elaborate opportunity to each family.
Prior to the mid 1900′s, cremations were looked upon from a cynical point of view. Back then, cremations were associated with the atrocities of Hitler’s concentration camps and the killing of millions of innocent people. As knowledge of Hitler’s propaganda spread throughout the world, cremations earned an outward hatred because of the association. Starvation, torture, illness and the inhumane treatment of Germany’s political prisoners all contributed to the annihilation of so many victims. Those who were not buried in mass graves or became part of an external funeral pyre were ultimately reduced to ashes at Nazi operated crematoria. The units were designed and built to dispose of the multitude of prisoners that were converted daily to corpses before being strewn past the crematory steel doors. Men, women and children whose only crime was to follow the Judaic faith were targeted as Hitler’s enemy.
News accounts of such inhumane treatment left all of us with knots in our stomachs and terror in our hearts. Anyone possessing even a kernel of human decency or an ounce of respect for the solemnity of human life was inflicted with overwhelming psychological despair that was easily felt throughout the world. This abysmal sensation was experienced by all people, regardless of national origin or religious following. Once again, such negative associations with the act of cremation had left many people impervious to change. Consequently, cremations did not become a viable option for many years. Interestingly, in spite of all the discouraging stories that circulated for so long, cremations are still climbing. We must therefore ask ourselves, why? The answer is linked to the finances of each family and the economic struggles of our times. Cremations eventually skyrocketed once the conditions were favorable, in spite of the historical setbacks associated with World War II.
With support from celebrities, however, the idea of cremation started to take its rightful place in the hierarchy of positive evaluation and optimistic placement and is currently expected to continue its upward climb of preference. Adding to the bandwagon of cremation popularity were famous individuals who themselves were cremated. Some of these were John Lennon, whose body was cremated at the insistence of his wife, Yoko Ono. Others include Versace, Maurice Gibbs from the Bee Gees, Albert Einstein, Sigmund Freud, Robert Oppenheimer, Arthur Rubenstein, Harpo Marx; Ze’ev (Vladimir) Jabotinsky; Ethel Merman; Maria Callas; Neville Chamberlain; Alexander Fleming; Greta Garbo; Marvin Gaye; George Harrison; Henry James; John F. Kennedy Jr.; Rudyard Kipling; Eliot Ness; George Bernard Shaw and many, many more.
It seems that the passing of time has helped heal the negativity once associated with cremations. However, the war has not been won outright; only smaller battles have seen the victory of triumph. In order for a total victory, one must allow progress to completely overcome and eradicate those awful memories. There’s still work to be done to overthrow years of aversive conditioning.
Today, Jews practice cremations as do Christians, Buddhists, Hindus and Moslems. In addition, everyday people have contributed toward washing away these sins of history. Movies that depict cremations as an acceptable means of human disposition have already reached thousands and even millions of people. We have finally reached the point from which accelerated progression can be implemented through proper coaching and education. During our lifetime, each of us will convene at our crematory of preference to pay tribute and say goodbye to a loved one through the Witness Cremation.
Geronimo Mena, Jr.
Geronimo
CANA, Florida Cremations, Guiding Light, Hollywood, In Memory of 911