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Establishing Honorable Memories

Losing a loved one tends to leave a void that cannot be filled by just anyone. Although the memory of that person will remain in our hearts throughout our lifetime, it can still precipitate deep-seated emotional disharmony when exacerbated or triggered by memories of unresolved issues. For example, words that were left unsaid, or needed action that never took place generally conjures up ill will, feelings of uneasiness that are oftentimes associated with immense guilt. Such negativity tends to disrupt the delicate psychological homeostasis of that person.  For these reasons, it is imperative that all issues of importance be handled expediently so that a sense of incompletion cannot linger.

Having the privilege to work in the funeral industry, I often hear stories expressed by family members that indicate unresolved issues. Perhaps the main culprit is human overreaction, inaction, or inappropriate action, an indication that our human frailties are engaged reflexively or without first thinking matters through. As humans, we’ve all been involved with issues of confrontation, human overreaction on a verbal level, or worse, on a physical level. Such impromptu or reactionary responses may rob us of our dignity while simultaneously creating potentially destructive outcomes. Not keeping one’s composure in the presence of emotional influence, whether due to heated arguments or improper action, often gives rise to deep regrets associated with that person.

The fact that we are not always forewarned of someone’s death is the very reason why we must never allow ourselves to perpetuate unresolved issues. Established relationships between two people, whether parent and child, brother and sister, husband and wife, or any other possible combination should always be treated with the utmost respect. Once the person dies, words unsaid or actions not taken must remain as such; and sometimes the unsaid or undone carries a burdensome memory that you must live with for the remainder of your life.

Guiding Light

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